By Ana Soler (School Psychologist)
One of the most powerful ways of boosting children’s self-esteem, improving their relationship with us, and enhancing their academic performance is not found in books, punishments, or rewards. It lies in how we listen to them, validate their feelings, and support them emotionally. For this, sometimes, we need to put on special glasses.
Invisible glasses allow us to see the world as our children see it, rather than through the lens of our adult experiences.
When a child says they feel stressed by a week full of exams, sad about a grade they didn’t expect, or hurt because they weren’t invited to a classmate’s birthday, our instinct is often to think: “It’s not that serious.”
Even with good intentions, the unintended message is: “What you feel doesn’t matter.” This undermines their confidence, weakens family communication, and may harm school performance.
From our perspective, a failed exam may seem small. But for a child, that test or argument with a friend is real, important, and painful. If we cannot see it, we miss the chance to connect and guide them. As explained by Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, validating emotions is essential for resilience and growth.
How to Put on Invisible Glasses
Putting on invisible glasses means remembering how things felt when we were children. With that empathy, we can respond with understanding instead of judgement.
These don’t solve the issue instantly, but they reinforce trust, provide emotional tools, and contribute to boosting children’s self-esteem in the long run.
Everyday Actions That Make a Difference
Involving children in family decisions so they feel their voice counts.
Listening without interrupting or rushing to give solutions.
Showing genuine interest in their hobbies and joining them in activities, from playing sports to cooking or drawing.
According to Unicef, everyday emotional support at home has a direct impact on children’s mental health and school performance.
When rewarding effort or achievement, focus on shared experiences (like planning a special outing together) instead of material gifts. Memories strengthen bonds far more than objects.
At Shackleton International School, we believe that children thrive academically when their emotional well-being is nurtured. Building trust, empathy, and confidence is part of the foundation of their educational journey.
It’s not about being perfect parents, but about being present and seeing the world through their eyes. When children feel listened to, understood, and valued, they feel capable of learning, making mistakes, and growing.
Put on the invisible glasses, the ones that bring you closer to your child’s world!
Nurture both learning and self-esteem
At Shackleton, we foster confidence as well as knowledge
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